By Elizabeth Nelson
While some flights offer passengers a movie a drink and some muts, one Southwest Airline flight got its own nutty stand-up comedian.
A Southwest Airlines flight attendant provided the normal instructions prior to takeoff but with a little flare and extra commentary that is too funny not to share. Obviously, I'm not alone in my sense of humor, because the YouTube video was seen on Fox Five, has warranted more than 4.2 million (with an M) views and has started trending on social media.
"Everyone gets a door prize in the seat in front of you, a half eaten piece of gum and a Dirty Diaper"
"It's a no smoking, no whining, no complaining flight, it's a please, thank you and you are so good looking flight attendant flight"
"Smoking is never allowed on SW. If you are caught smoking in the lavatory, it's a $2,000 fine, if you wanted to pay that for your airfare, you should have flown someone else."
"If we do make you that nervous in the next hour and a half, you are more than welcome to step outside, we don't discriminate here at SW, we have a special smoking section just for you we'll even show you a movie; "Up in the Air."
"Although we never expect a loss in cabin pressure ... to activate the flow of oxygen simply insert $.75 for the first minute."
"and if you are traveling with small children, I'm sorry. If you're traveling with more than one child, pick out the one that you think may have the most earning potential and help them first."
"If you're traveling with someone that requires special attention, like your husband, bless his heart, or your wife, put on your mask first."
"If there is something we can do for you to make your flight more enjoyable, please tell us ... just as soon as we land in Salt Lake city"
I don't know about you, but that's probably the first time I've actually listened to the entire safety instruction and actually enjoyed it, and I've been on dozens of flights over my lifetime.
However, I'm sure there had to be a libtard on the flight that complained about her "figure out which child" or "help yourself before you help your spouse" comment, there always seems to be one "touchy-feely" overly-sensitive-panty-waste in the crowd that seems to want to piss on everyone else's cornflakes and will probably want a "refund on the flight" for their effort to boot.