Breaking: Ted Cruz Has Lost the Vampire Vote!

By Kim D.

HBO's True Blood, the vampire series, likes to get down and dirty with pop culture and has taken political anti-conservative, anti-Christian slaps before, but last Sunday's episode blowback from its intended victim, Ted Cruz, came back with a huge bite. 

To set the scene, vampires Eric and Pam (played by Alexander Skarsgård and Kristin Bauer van Straten, respectively) go undercover at a Ted Cruz fundraising event thrown at the George W. Bush Presidential Library in Dallas. They dress as wealthy Texan stereotypes in order to blend in with the conservative crowd. "Of all the horrible things I've seen in the last hundred years, this could be the most disturbing," Pam says to Eric. The episode may have also coined the derogatory term, “Republicunt."

On his Facebook account, Ted Cruz gave an epic response proving that he is the one viable, conservative 2016 candidate who knows how to fight the culture war which has become so prominent in politics:  Of all the places I never thought to be mentioned, HBO's True Blood vampire show would have to be near the top of the list. Sunday night, they aired a misogynist and profanity-ridden episode where Texas Republicans are murdered attending a "Ted Cruz fundraiser." Well, I'm sorry to have lost the vampire vote, but am astonished (and amused) that HBO is suggesting that hard-core leftists are blood-sucking fiends....